Of course we all want to do the best for our kids. But so often, we are lost in the muddle of too many people voicing their ‘opinions’ (It’s just my opinion, you can do what you think is best…Really??) or in the crazy rat race where the ‘other parents’ just seem to be doing, oh my, how do they even manage to do so many of these crazy things?? And you are actually left wondering whether it is your nuts and bolts that are not in place, or theirs??
The parenting world has surely become one silly place, where if you do not have your thoughts in place about what you really want for your child and how you want to be as a parent, trust me, you will be driven crazy. Whether it’s about schooling or entertainment or extra-curricular activities, sanity may be a mile away, if you follow the herd.
Your Child’s Emotional Security is Paramount
Deciding on your underlying goals makes decision-making as a parent a lot simpler. And when you think of your goals, let them be more long-term than immediate in nature, something than can be valid for as long as you can see!! Long-term goals make decision-making on small things extremely easy. For example, one thing that I keep as the back-bone of decision making is ‘Emotional Security of the Child’ because that it one thing which can shape or distort your child’s personality. Keeping their emotional security in mind while taking decisions can help in creating a great personality because the self-confidence of an emotionally secure person is unmatched!
Since every child develops in his or her unique way, only you as a parent can assess your child’s emotional readiness. For example, one child maybe ready to sleep away from his parents at the age of 1.5years while another may not be ready till much longer. So don’t get them to sleep away just because another kid is doing so as that can have a negative impact. But, yes, if you do feel that, this is what your child needs at that point, go ahead!! Pushing your children into doing things that they are not ready for can scar their personality for good. So rather than focusing on building your child’s confidence or making them independent, if you focus on emotional security, you will get it all.
Don’t Make them Over-Competitive from the Very Start!!
Making your child competitive has become the order of the day. However, we often do not realize how much this stresses little children and how it impacts their personality. It’s a good idea to take decisions which do not involve competition right from the start. And if it does, do not aim to have to winner. ‘Lets see who comes first’ is something we use for just about anything to push them to finish fast, but that’s what pressurizes the child. Again, over emphasizing your child’s victory in any activity, puts on them the pressure to perform well always. Take decisions which are non-pressurizing and that will help develop a strong and happy personality which in-turn will lead to naturally good performance on many counts.
Don’t Overlook Morals & Values
Let morals and values drive your decision-making because that is what we tend to forget given the life-long marathon we are running. Give your child enough time at home with family members to imbibe family values and traditions. Morals and values cannot be taught, they get imbibed through our actions. A strong value system right from the start will help your child develop a stable and strong personality.
Most of all, ‘Have Trust In Yourself’. Your instinct as a parent is the most important. So trust yourself while taking decisions and you will be in the right direction!